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HOW TO HELP A FRIEND WITH AN
EATING DISORDER
WHAT ARE THE WARNING SIGNS OF AN EATING
DISORDER?
(Not all persons display all symptoms)
- Preoccupation with food
- Depression
- Abuse of laxatives, diet pills, water pills
- Refusal to eat, except for tiny portions
- Vomiting
- Denial of hunger
- Distorted body image (i.e., sees self as fat when
actually thin)
- Absent or irregular menstruation in women
- Excessive exercise
- Frequent binge eating
- Fear of losing control
- Self-esteem based on being thin
- 20% or more weight loss
- Fear of gaining weight
HOW CAN I HELP SOMEONE WITH AN EATING
DISORDER?
- Think carefully of the best way to approach your
friend
- Be specific--discuss eating behaviors you notice
- Focus on physical and mental health, not on
weight
- Be gentle, but persistent in encouraging your
friend to seek help
- Confront out of concern--avoid blaming
- Encourage your friend to find books and articles
to read
- Offer to attend an eating disorders support group
and/or first counseling session
- Consult a professional for advice on getting help
- Assume you will have to approach your friend
several times
- Pick a time to talk when you are feeling calm and
will not be interrupted
- Use "I" statements to convey your concerns
An EATING DISORDER is not simply a problem
with weight or food. It is actually an attempt to use weight control and
food intake to solve underlying emotional conflicts or difficulties that
have little to do with weight or food.
WHAT ARE REALISTIC GOALS I CAN ACCOMPLISH
WHEN APPROACHING A FRIEND?
Opening the doors to discussion shows that you are
willing to listen and support your friend.
Telling your friend why you are having this
discussion and what you would like to see happen.
Helping your friend get information and help. This
may include giving her information about available resources and helping
her recognize the problem.
Realizing you can listen and be supportive, but
you cannot change your friend's behavior. Trying to stop someone from
bingeing, purging or starving is an unrealistic goal. This will most
likely end up in a struggle for control and will only make matters
worse.
Source: Eating Disorders Task Force at
Northern Illinois University
Used with permission
RECOMMENDED READING
Making Peace With Food: Freeing Yourself from
the Diet/Weight Obsession, by Susan Kano
Bulimia: A Guide to Recovery: Understanding
and Overcoming the Binge-Purge Syndrome, by Lindsey Hall and Leigh
Cohn
Fat is Not a Four-Letter Word, by Charles
Roy Schroeder, Ph.D.
The Body Betrayed: A Deeper Understanding of
Women, Eating Disorders, and Treatment, by Katheryn J. Zerbe, M.D.
Surviving an Eating Disorder: Perspectives and
Strategies for Family & Friends, by Michelle Siegel, Ph.D., Judith
Brisman, Ph.D., and Margot Weinshel, Ph.D.
Gurze Books: Eating Disorders Bookshelf
Catalog, 1-800-756-7533
Full Lives: Women Who Have Freed Themselves
from Food and Weight Obsessions, by Lindsey Hall
Body Trust: Undieting Your Way to Health and
Happiness, by Gayle Hayes. 60 minute Video
Body Traps: Breaking the Binds That Keep You
From Feeling Good About Your Body, by Dr. Judith Rodin
GETTING HELP EARLY IS THE KEY
If you know or suspect you know someone who has an
eating disorder, you can contact:
Valley Mental Health
(435) 649-8347
Overeater's Anonymous
(801) 484-1442
For free information, referrals, bibliography,
self-help groups, contact:
National ANAD (Anorexia Nervosa & Associated
Disorders)
P.O. Box 7
Highland Park, IL 60035
(708) 831-3438
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